1 00:00:00,450 --> 00:00:04,390 Hey, the Seavers guys' day out was one great idea. Yeah, just four guys out on 2 00:00:04,390 --> 00:00:07,990 the town. Eating anything we want. Walking past discount jewelers without 3 00:00:07,990 --> 00:00:08,990 missing a beat. 4 00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:12,710 You guys remember last month when Mom and Carol came in that Bulls game? 5 00:00:12,990 --> 00:00:15,950 Oh, yeah. Remember what she said? It's just not fair because some of the guys 6 00:00:15,950 --> 00:00:17,430 are so much taller than the others. 7 00:00:19,130 --> 00:00:20,130 What? What? 8 00:00:20,190 --> 00:00:21,190 Something's wrong. 9 00:00:21,390 --> 00:00:22,730 Our train's leaving on time. 10 00:00:23,490 --> 00:00:26,770 Happy New Fellas. Care to take your luck? Don't forget you, too. Hey, all 11 00:00:26,770 --> 00:00:27,770 gotta do is find the queen. 12 00:00:28,670 --> 00:00:29,670 Barney? 13 00:00:30,790 --> 00:00:31,790 Abe! 14 00:00:32,310 --> 00:00:34,490 I've been worried sick about you. Where you been? 15 00:00:34,850 --> 00:00:36,930 I'm fine. I've been living with the family in the suburbs. 16 00:00:37,170 --> 00:00:38,170 Oh, that's great. 17 00:00:38,210 --> 00:00:39,270 Have they found out yet? 18 00:00:41,010 --> 00:00:43,310 I'm Jason Seaver. Oh, Barney Papadakis. 19 00:00:44,030 --> 00:00:45,110 Boy, you clean up good. 20 00:00:46,150 --> 00:00:47,150 You're blonde. 21 00:00:47,670 --> 00:00:49,130 You look good, too, Barney. 22 00:00:49,410 --> 00:00:51,050 Yeah, well, it's this new exercise program. 23 00:00:51,330 --> 00:00:53,770 Every time I see a transit cop, I run a quarter of a mile. 24 00:00:55,170 --> 00:00:57,630 Speaking of which, Officer Anderson. 25 00:00:58,430 --> 00:00:59,430 Love the outfit. 26 00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:01,240 Blue is your color. 27 00:01:02,220 --> 00:01:05,860 Now, Barney, you wouldn't be running any kind of illegal gambling here now, 28 00:01:05,940 --> 00:01:06,458 would you? 29 00:01:06,460 --> 00:01:08,900 No, see, actually, I was playing 52 -card pick -up. 30 00:01:09,960 --> 00:01:10,960 With three cards? 31 00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:12,240 I'm not very good. 32 00:01:13,140 --> 00:01:14,140 Beat it, Barney. 33 00:01:14,260 --> 00:01:15,260 Gotcha. 34 00:01:15,580 --> 00:01:18,980 Well, so long, fellas. I got enough quarters to go to the bus station and 35 00:01:18,980 --> 00:01:19,980 the whole molly dod. 36 00:01:21,680 --> 00:01:22,680 Nice seeing you, Abe. 37 00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:24,160 See you, Barney. 38 00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:30,550 So, you know this guy, huh? 39 00:01:31,190 --> 00:01:34,210 Everybody on the street knows Barney. If you need a place to sleep and some 40 00:01:34,210 --> 00:01:35,430 food, Barney's the guy to see. 41 00:01:36,010 --> 00:01:39,170 And if he's good, I guess he can do all right running a card scam. 42 00:01:39,490 --> 00:01:40,570 It's not a scam. 43 00:01:40,870 --> 00:01:43,670 Barney is New York's only honest three -card monster. 44 00:01:44,070 --> 00:01:45,990 He's got faster hands than one baby. 45 00:01:47,590 --> 00:01:48,930 Why does he call you Abe? 46 00:01:49,790 --> 00:01:52,450 Well, it's because my birthday is the same as Lincoln's. 47 00:01:53,070 --> 00:01:55,070 Your birthday's December 25th? 48 00:01:58,880 --> 00:02:02,680 Right. Wait, wait a minute. Your birthday is next week? And you didn't 49 00:02:02,680 --> 00:02:03,680 about it? 50 00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:05,080 What are you, nuts? 51 00:02:05,980 --> 00:02:07,840 How do you expect to get any good presents? 52 00:02:08,380 --> 00:02:10,060 Hey, I don't need any presents. 53 00:02:10,639 --> 00:02:11,640 Oh, Luke. 54 00:02:11,980 --> 00:02:13,120 He's just kidding, Dad. 55 00:02:13,540 --> 00:02:16,120 Actually, he wants a leather jacket of my size. 56 00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:22,780 times do I have to tell you? I don't want you guys throwing me a party. Luke, 57 00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:25,500 I'm just talking about some potato chips and a balloon or two. 58 00:03:25,740 --> 00:03:26,780 I have a great idea. 59 00:03:27,100 --> 00:03:28,860 What? Go to Chuck E. Cheese. 60 00:03:30,380 --> 00:03:31,380 Yeah, right. 61 00:03:31,540 --> 00:03:35,540 Luke really wants to spend his 16th birthday throwing pepperoni at six -foot 62 00:03:35,540 --> 00:03:36,540 mechanical mice. 63 00:03:37,680 --> 00:03:39,380 Now that's a party. 64 00:03:41,060 --> 00:03:45,340 The secret to a great party is who isn't there when you have it. 65 00:03:45,560 --> 00:03:48,340 Huh? You know, a more private gathering. 66 00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:50,640 just you and me? 67 00:03:52,840 --> 00:03:56,660 What Ben is trying to say is that you should wait until Jason and I are out 68 00:03:56,660 --> 00:03:58,680 have a wild party here at the house. 69 00:03:59,500 --> 00:04:00,720 Or we could do that. 70 00:04:01,460 --> 00:04:02,460 Forget it. 71 00:04:02,540 --> 00:04:03,720 Hey, it was Mom's idea. 72 00:04:04,440 --> 00:04:07,500 Okay, okay, okay, I give up. You can throw me a party. 73 00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:08,800 All right. 74 00:04:08,900 --> 00:04:10,800 But please, don't make it a big deal, all right? 75 00:04:11,020 --> 00:04:13,200 How can we? Mom and Dad insist on being there. 76 00:04:14,300 --> 00:04:18,140 The party's gonna be a dud, but you can still make out like a bandit on the 77 00:04:18,140 --> 00:04:21,010 gifts. But I don't want... I don't want any gifts. Would you quit thinking of 78 00:04:21,010 --> 00:04:22,010 yourself? 79 00:04:22,850 --> 00:04:28,550 Okay, Chrissy, time for... Chrissy, were you playing in my jewelry box again 80 00:04:28,550 --> 00:04:30,430 after I told you not to? 81 00:04:30,750 --> 00:04:31,890 Why would you think that? 82 00:04:32,230 --> 00:04:35,130 Because Mr. Blowhole was wearing my good pearl earrings. 83 00:04:37,330 --> 00:04:39,130 Bad whale! Bad whale! 84 00:04:41,890 --> 00:04:44,750 You know, guys, I'm going to make this the best birthday party ever. 85 00:04:45,050 --> 00:04:46,050 I've got an idea. 86 00:04:46,760 --> 00:04:48,980 This idea is so great, it even scares me. 87 00:04:50,820 --> 00:04:53,200 Last time you said that, I lost my eyebrows. 88 00:04:55,980 --> 00:04:57,680 Hi, Dwight. Hey. 89 00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:00,800 Here's the keys to the wagon. 90 00:05:02,700 --> 00:05:04,420 Did Carol's plane get off safely? 91 00:05:05,300 --> 00:05:06,380 Unfortunately, yes. 92 00:05:07,540 --> 00:05:10,640 Don't get me wrong, I'm glad she's alive and all, but... 93 00:05:12,940 --> 00:05:15,940 What am I going to do for a month while she's away doing research at the British 94 00:05:15,940 --> 00:05:19,560 Museum? Oh, don't take it so hard, Dwight. She's going to be back before 95 00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:20,560 know it. 96 00:05:20,660 --> 00:05:23,280 Which reminds me, her plane left six hours ago. Where have you been? 97 00:05:23,540 --> 00:05:26,740 Well, I stood there and I watched the vapor trail from her plane evaporate. 98 00:05:31,320 --> 00:05:32,880 For six hours? 99 00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:34,680 No, for five minutes. 100 00:05:35,660 --> 00:05:38,320 And then I did what any red -blooded American man would do. 101 00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:41,200 Dwight, have you been drinking? 102 00:05:43,980 --> 00:05:47,680 liar if I didn't confess. I went down and I knocked back a few yoo -hoos at 103 00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:48,680 Bleeker Street Cinema. 104 00:05:50,180 --> 00:05:54,160 You went to the movie. And I saw the avant -garde film festival winner, Death 105 00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:55,160 the Navocado. 106 00:05:56,540 --> 00:05:59,760 Let me just guess here. I bet the ending had something to do with guacamole. 107 00:06:01,460 --> 00:06:07,080 We see this blue lawn chair and this old man comes and he sits down on it. He 108 00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:10,360 plays the xylophone and then he dies. 109 00:06:13,820 --> 00:06:14,820 That fits me. 110 00:06:15,180 --> 00:06:19,100 It's a statement about man's tautological search for metaphysical 111 00:06:21,020 --> 00:06:22,020 Where's the avocado? 112 00:06:22,500 --> 00:06:23,640 There is no avocado. 113 00:06:24,220 --> 00:06:27,560 If it's called Death of an Avocado, shouldn't there be an avocado in there? 114 00:06:29,500 --> 00:06:31,820 Well, that would be a little bit obvious, don't you think? 115 00:06:35,660 --> 00:06:36,820 My Little Pony? 116 00:06:37,260 --> 00:06:39,220 Is this the banner Mike wanted us to get? 117 00:06:39,560 --> 00:06:40,700 It's my favorite. 118 00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:44,080 Are you sure? 119 00:06:44,340 --> 00:06:45,740 It's someone's favorite. 120 00:06:47,520 --> 00:06:51,300 Hey, you know, I don't know why more people don't shop down at Mort's Party 121 00:06:51,300 --> 00:06:54,360 Warehouse. They get some great deals down there. Look at this. 122 00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:00,900 What's that supposed to be? 123 00:07:01,340 --> 00:07:02,940 It's pin the tail on the hamster. 124 00:07:04,780 --> 00:07:07,540 I got it for free with the purchase of 20 party hats. 125 00:07:08,860 --> 00:07:10,120 Jason, this is Greek. 126 00:07:10,340 --> 00:07:11,380 Does it say happy birthday? 127 00:07:11,660 --> 00:07:14,960 Well, the salesman wasn't sure. It's either that or Dukakis in 88. 128 00:07:16,620 --> 00:07:20,020 Oh, honey, I'm sorry to insinuate that you were cheap. 129 00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:21,440 All right, apology accepted. 130 00:07:22,500 --> 00:07:25,020 Now, where's Ben? He's supposed to help me find last year's candles. 131 00:07:25,300 --> 00:07:28,180 Oh, he and Dwight went to get more ice cream. 132 00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:29,720 Dwight's here again? 133 00:07:29,780 --> 00:07:32,340 Well, honey, he misses Carol, and he's lonely. 134 00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:35,160 Yeah, but it seems like the last couple of days, every time I turn around, 135 00:07:35,340 --> 00:07:36,340 there's Dwight. 136 00:07:36,700 --> 00:07:37,700 You're exaggerating. 137 00:07:37,960 --> 00:07:40,620 Last night he was reading the newspaper over my shoulder. 138 00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:42,160 In the bathroom. 139 00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:47,180 Leave him alone. Besides, he and Ben are really starting to get along. 140 00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:53,820 See, see, the lawn chair symbolizes the ontological conundrum that is this very 141 00:07:53,820 --> 00:07:54,820 existence. 142 00:07:55,700 --> 00:07:56,740 That's great, Dwight. 143 00:07:58,080 --> 00:08:02,180 I never thought I'd hear myself say these words, but get Carol back now. 144 00:08:03,720 --> 00:08:08,220 Dr. Seaver, I got licorice pineapple crunch ice cream. That's not too much of 145 00:08:08,220 --> 00:08:09,220 cliche. 146 00:08:10,180 --> 00:08:13,060 Well, maybe we can find something exotic to put on top. 147 00:08:13,300 --> 00:08:14,460 Oh, I'm way ahead of you. 148 00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:17,040 Creamed corn. 149 00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:21,640 Luke, get down here. Everybody else, come here. 150 00:08:22,140 --> 00:08:23,039 Come here, quick. 151 00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:24,980 Oh, you got creamed corn. You got a party. 152 00:08:25,780 --> 00:08:27,720 Luke, ready for your birthday present? 153 00:08:35,789 --> 00:08:38,309 Barney showed me how to do a card trick. Oh, great. 154 00:08:38,549 --> 00:08:39,549 Let's see. 155 00:08:39,730 --> 00:08:40,730 Find the queen. 156 00:08:40,770 --> 00:08:41,770 Where's she hiding? 157 00:08:42,090 --> 00:08:43,929 Hey, look at me, buddy. 158 00:08:46,510 --> 00:08:48,830 Come on, kiddo. Maybe we should talk to him a little later. 159 00:08:49,050 --> 00:08:51,250 Oh, come on, Barney. Show him how you do it. No. 160 00:08:52,110 --> 00:08:53,670 He's a lot better than I am. 161 00:08:53,890 --> 00:08:55,430 Oh, come on, Barney. Well, 162 00:08:56,810 --> 00:08:57,810 okay. 163 00:08:59,870 --> 00:09:00,870 Find the queen. 164 00:09:01,430 --> 00:09:04,010 Where's she hiding? Tower of London? Buckingham Palace? 165 00:09:04,880 --> 00:09:05,880 Motel 6? 166 00:09:07,420 --> 00:09:10,780 No offense, Barney, but you gotta get up pretty early in the morning to fold 167 00:09:10,780 --> 00:09:11,780 Ben's seat. 168 00:09:13,260 --> 00:09:14,260 How'd you do that? 169 00:09:16,140 --> 00:09:18,820 Well, I tell you, this is a lot better than your last birthday, huh, Abe? 170 00:09:19,500 --> 00:09:20,500 Why? What happened? 171 00:09:20,700 --> 00:09:24,360 Oh, Barney and some of the guys snuck me into the zoo after hours. 172 00:09:24,740 --> 00:09:27,560 Boy, did we eat well that night. What did you eat? 173 00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:29,700 Hot dogs. The dumpster was full of them. 174 00:09:35,790 --> 00:09:39,250 No matter what, you always helped us out. You always get us a place to sleep 175 00:09:39,250 --> 00:09:40,250 some food. 176 00:09:40,850 --> 00:09:41,850 It's a gift. 177 00:09:43,850 --> 00:09:46,430 Sounds like Luke was pretty lucky to have you looking out for him. 178 00:09:47,310 --> 00:09:52,890 Yeah, well, you're going to have to excuse me. I have to answer nature's 179 00:09:53,590 --> 00:09:57,710 Oh, Barney, why don't you just go upstairs, second door on the right? 180 00:09:58,670 --> 00:09:59,770 Of course, I have it. 181 00:10:02,160 --> 00:10:05,680 What do you say we play some games? Sure. Yeah, all right. Oh, I have a 182 00:10:05,680 --> 00:10:07,400 one. Well, it's been the doofus. 183 00:10:10,100 --> 00:10:11,100 Maybe later. 184 00:10:13,380 --> 00:10:15,600 This is called semantics. 185 00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:19,860 Someone names a word, and then we all try to give it subtle shades of meaning. 186 00:10:22,540 --> 00:10:24,460 Stay back, ladies. Carol saw him first. 187 00:10:26,540 --> 00:10:29,860 Troy, that sounds like the kind of game that usually ends a party. 188 00:10:30,180 --> 00:10:31,240 I've noticed that. 189 00:10:32,640 --> 00:10:36,360 Maybe we can build up to that, but how about a rousing game of pin the tail on 190 00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:37,360 the hamster? 191 00:10:38,080 --> 00:10:40,840 Where's the camera? I want to get a picture of this. Upstairs, hall closet. 192 00:10:40,880 --> 00:10:41,719 I'll get it. 193 00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:44,780 Um, I just have one question about this hamster thing. 194 00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:47,260 How do we hold the little guy down? 195 00:10:53,140 --> 00:10:59,740 What were you doing? 196 00:11:00,170 --> 00:11:01,770 Oh, just seeing how the other half lives. 197 00:11:02,990 --> 00:11:05,550 You know, this statue thing pulls this whole room together. 198 00:11:06,190 --> 00:11:08,450 What were you doing in Mrs. Seaver's jewelry box? 199 00:11:10,210 --> 00:11:11,510 Barney, were you going to take something? 200 00:11:12,410 --> 00:11:14,690 Hey, how could you say something like that? 201 00:11:15,910 --> 00:11:19,430 Well, I... I was on my way to the bathroom, and the door was open. 202 00:11:19,930 --> 00:11:24,290 I know I shouldn't have come in here, but I saw the jewelry box on the 203 00:11:24,590 --> 00:11:26,410 I used to look through my mom's all the time. 204 00:11:27,590 --> 00:11:28,590 Hers had this... 205 00:11:28,800 --> 00:11:30,480 Little dancing ballerina in it. 206 00:11:31,940 --> 00:11:35,280 And I just wanted to see if this one had one, too. 207 00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:43,280 Barney, I'm sorry. You know, I shouldn't have jumped to a conclusion like that. 208 00:11:44,540 --> 00:11:46,080 Hey, you forgive me? 209 00:11:46,720 --> 00:11:47,720 Yeah, sure. 210 00:11:48,100 --> 00:11:49,360 Come on, let's go back downstairs. 211 00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:50,800 Yeah. 212 00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:54,000 By the way, what's with the Dukakis hats? 213 00:11:55,900 --> 00:11:57,720 You're warm. Yeah, you're really, really warm. 214 00:12:06,510 --> 00:12:07,850 Oh, I can't leave now. I'm winning. 215 00:12:10,050 --> 00:12:11,590 What do you say you open up your presents, huh? 216 00:12:12,570 --> 00:12:14,010 This one's for me and Carol. 217 00:12:18,810 --> 00:12:21,090 The complete works of Schopenhauer. 218 00:12:22,390 --> 00:12:24,150 I knew it. You already read it. 219 00:12:25,850 --> 00:12:27,370 Hey, but not in its original... 220 00:12:36,180 --> 00:12:37,180 Mega slime? 221 00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:38,860 Hammer and fickle? The nurses? 222 00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:41,700 Yeah, it's got their hit single, Turn Your Head and Cough. 223 00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:45,560 You want to borrow your Walkman sometime, sir? 224 00:12:45,820 --> 00:12:47,500 Hey, maybe you ought to open ours next. 225 00:12:49,580 --> 00:12:51,060 Hey, my old Walkman! 226 00:12:52,220 --> 00:12:53,220 Oh, 227 00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:54,960 oh, oh, oh, oh. 228 00:12:55,880 --> 00:12:59,080 Oh, are those the pearls I gave you for our anniversary? 229 00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:01,280 No, honey, they're the real ones. 230 00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:08,940 broke them, and glued them back together with rubber cement. 231 00:13:09,920 --> 00:13:12,300 Uh, open my net. 232 00:13:13,700 --> 00:13:14,760 I'll be right back. 233 00:13:19,420 --> 00:13:20,580 It's the whole family. 234 00:13:21,020 --> 00:13:22,020 That's you. 235 00:13:23,520 --> 00:13:24,520 Thanks. 236 00:13:25,180 --> 00:13:27,080 It's the best present I've ever gotten. 237 00:13:27,880 --> 00:13:29,240 Will you put it on your wall? 238 00:13:29,560 --> 00:13:32,480 Hey, I'll do it right now. I'll even move my Christina Applegate poster. 239 00:13:35,340 --> 00:13:36,820 I made it off the refrigerator. 240 00:13:37,340 --> 00:13:39,020 Finally. The big time. 241 00:13:44,120 --> 00:13:45,720 Is something wrong, Mrs. Heber? 242 00:13:46,180 --> 00:13:50,820 Oh, no, Luke. I'm just looking for an old ring my grandmother gave me. It's 243 00:13:50,820 --> 00:13:52,080 usually right in here. 244 00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:53,320 It's gone? 245 00:13:53,460 --> 00:13:54,960 Yeah, and the box was open. 246 00:13:56,380 --> 00:13:58,580 Chrissy must have been playing with my jewelry again. 247 00:14:01,920 --> 00:14:04,000 Luke, Barney wasn't in here at all, was he? 248 00:14:08,199 --> 00:14:10,720 Barney? Oh, my God, what a horrible thing to say. 249 00:14:11,580 --> 00:14:14,880 I mean, I know just because he's homeless, it doesn't mean that he'd 250 00:14:15,140 --> 00:14:18,060 No, that's okay, Mrs. Seymour. No, it isn't, and I'm very sorry. 251 00:14:19,280 --> 00:14:20,960 I mean, Carol loves that ring. 252 00:14:21,260 --> 00:14:25,240 I bet she'd borrowed it to take it to England with her. How silly of me. 253 00:14:26,780 --> 00:14:28,600 Come on, Ruthie boy, let's go back downstairs. 254 00:14:31,900 --> 00:14:34,280 I'll be down in just a second. I just want to hang this up. 255 00:14:40,240 --> 00:14:46,500 Okay, three words. Third word. Third word is... It sounds like... It sounds 256 00:14:46,500 --> 00:14:47,500 big. Huge. 257 00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:50,140 Hair. Big, huge hair. 258 00:14:50,420 --> 00:14:51,420 Dolly Parton movie. 259 00:14:52,540 --> 00:14:56,180 If it was a Dolly Parton movie, it'd be big, huge. Bend. 260 00:14:58,700 --> 00:15:00,600 Okay, okay. Sounds like... Sounds like hair. 261 00:15:00,860 --> 00:15:01,860 Hair, pear, pear. 262 00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:05,320 Freddie Stare. Au contraire. Baudelaire. Smoke in the air. Sonny and Cher. 263 00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:15,280 It was truth or dare, and you wait till it's your turn, Dwight. 264 00:15:16,580 --> 00:15:18,080 All right, my turn. 265 00:15:19,180 --> 00:15:20,920 Uh, Planet of the Apes. 266 00:15:22,820 --> 00:15:24,320 It just popped out. 267 00:15:25,680 --> 00:15:26,679 Movie, movie. 268 00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:28,520 You're taking, you're stealing. 269 00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:30,120 You're a robber. Lawyer. 270 00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:34,700 Thief. 271 00:15:36,860 --> 00:15:38,100 To catch a thief. 272 00:15:45,130 --> 00:15:47,770 a little chilly in here. You want to help me go start a fire? Sure, where you 273 00:15:47,770 --> 00:15:48,770 keep the trash can. 274 00:15:49,330 --> 00:15:51,610 My turn. 275 00:15:51,930 --> 00:15:56,610 No, no, no. No, no, come on. It's only fair that Chrissy gets her turn. Mom, 276 00:15:56,690 --> 00:15:58,070 come on. She always reads them wrong. 277 00:15:58,370 --> 00:16:01,530 Last time we spent half an hour trying to figure out the sound of mustard. 278 00:16:04,470 --> 00:16:06,250 Boy, you could cook a lot of potatoes with that. 279 00:16:07,690 --> 00:16:10,170 I want the ring you took out of Mr. Seaver's jewelry box. 280 00:16:10,930 --> 00:16:13,210 Not that again. I told you I was just looking around. 281 00:16:13,550 --> 00:16:14,550 I want the ring. 282 00:16:17,620 --> 00:16:20,540 No. I don't believe it. How could you just steal something like that? 283 00:16:20,900 --> 00:16:23,320 Well, it's to feed my addiction. I'm going through food withdrawal. 284 00:16:24,680 --> 00:16:27,320 But how could you do it to the people who were nice enough to take me in? 285 00:16:27,660 --> 00:16:30,700 Hey, you don't need that ring. You'd do fine playing three -card Monty. 286 00:16:31,580 --> 00:16:34,420 Hey, come on. They're probably wondering where we are. We could have chopped the 287 00:16:34,420 --> 00:16:35,760 whole tree down by now. Let's go. 288 00:16:46,320 --> 00:16:47,320 believe you. 289 00:16:47,920 --> 00:16:51,760 You stand there in those designer clothes and now you tell me it's wrong 290 00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:52,760 steal? 291 00:16:56,360 --> 00:16:58,660 Well, what do you think is going to happen to you when you turn 18? 292 00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:00,860 They got four kids. 293 00:17:02,460 --> 00:17:04,900 Think they're going to get you a car? Think they're going to send you to 294 00:17:04,900 --> 00:17:05,900 college? 295 00:17:07,480 --> 00:17:09,560 Two years from now, you're going to be back down the street. 296 00:17:10,119 --> 00:17:11,180 You're not one of them. 297 00:17:11,660 --> 00:17:12,660 You're one of us. 298 00:17:13,920 --> 00:17:15,599 You know it and I know it. 299 00:17:16,880 --> 00:17:18,760 And that's why you're not going to call the cops. 300 00:17:19,420 --> 00:17:20,420 Are you? 301 00:17:23,839 --> 00:17:24,839 No. 302 00:17:30,600 --> 00:17:34,420 Hey, Mon, I don't like to see you like this. 303 00:17:35,260 --> 00:17:36,260 I'll tell you what we're going to do. 304 00:17:37,020 --> 00:17:38,460 We'll play three -card money for the ring. 305 00:17:38,900 --> 00:17:40,720 And maybe you can win it back from me fair and square. 306 00:17:41,940 --> 00:17:43,760 What's fair about that? You always win. 307 00:17:44,220 --> 00:17:45,219 I'll up the odds. 308 00:17:45,220 --> 00:17:46,280 I'll give you three tries. 309 00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:47,720 Find the queen just once. 310 00:17:48,220 --> 00:17:49,220 You get the ring. 311 00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:52,760 And if I don't? 312 00:17:53,360 --> 00:17:55,180 I get to eat regular for a few months. 313 00:17:56,880 --> 00:17:59,300 I can't gamble with you if I miss the receiver's ring. 314 00:18:07,340 --> 00:18:08,560 Big nose. Big nose. 315 00:18:08,840 --> 00:18:10,480 Bob Hope. 316 00:18:15,980 --> 00:18:17,580 Now, this is dangerous liaison. 317 00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:19,120 I like Pinocchio better. 318 00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:24,620 Well, folks, I hate to eat and ruin, but I got to get back into town. 319 00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:25,880 Hey, Barney. 320 00:18:26,500 --> 00:18:29,040 I thought we were going to play a little three -card Monty. 321 00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:30,960 You want to play? 322 00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:32,200 I said so. 323 00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:34,160 Well, all right. 324 00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:35,960 Oh, good. 325 00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:39,100 But my money's on Barney. Me too. 326 00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:43,800 Okay, once upon a time... 327 00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:45,520 There was a sleeping beauty. 328 00:18:46,100 --> 00:18:51,280 And a handsome prince had to open the right door to wake her with a kiss. 329 00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:56,720 Uh -oh. 330 00:18:56,940 --> 00:18:58,060 Sorry, wrong door. 331 00:19:00,140 --> 00:19:02,440 Find the queen. Where is she hiding? Upstairs? Downstairs? 332 00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:04,160 In my lady's chamber? 333 00:19:08,460 --> 00:19:09,460 Tough luck, kid. 334 00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:11,480 Try again. 335 00:19:12,120 --> 00:19:13,930 Hey. Hey, Luke, you tell yourself. 336 00:19:14,170 --> 00:19:15,170 Nobody can beat this guy. 337 00:19:21,690 --> 00:19:22,990 I choose this one. 338 00:19:24,410 --> 00:19:31,190 Because if this is a two, and this is a seven, 339 00:19:31,410 --> 00:19:33,630 then this must be the queen. 340 00:19:33,870 --> 00:19:34,870 Hey! 341 00:19:36,350 --> 00:19:40,670 So it's everybody's first playing games in the kitchen. Everyone except Luke. 342 00:19:41,050 --> 00:19:42,710 I'll get the forks. Okay, right. 343 00:19:44,150 --> 00:19:46,470 I'll get the plates and the cream corn. 344 00:19:51,850 --> 00:19:52,850 You the whole time? 345 00:19:54,390 --> 00:19:57,630 Actually, I really thought you were the world's only honest three -card Monty 346 00:19:57,630 --> 00:19:58,630 player. 347 00:19:58,750 --> 00:19:59,750 Yep. 348 00:20:00,030 --> 00:20:01,030 Here's your ring. 349 00:20:02,110 --> 00:20:03,190 Hey, look, kid. 350 00:20:03,550 --> 00:20:04,970 It's part of life on the street. 351 00:20:06,450 --> 00:20:09,950 See, there comes a time when you have to put your priorities in order. 352 00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:13,580 That still doesn't change the fact that this kind of stuff is wrong. 353 00:20:16,020 --> 00:20:18,920 Hey, why don't you get a job, you know? 354 00:20:19,220 --> 00:20:20,220 Start over. 355 00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:24,620 That's easy for you to say. I don't exactly have the look the employment 356 00:20:24,620 --> 00:20:25,620 agencies want. 357 00:20:29,380 --> 00:20:30,380 Here. 358 00:20:33,700 --> 00:20:34,700 What's this for? 359 00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:37,000 Something to remember me by. 360 00:20:38,520 --> 00:20:39,960 Hmm. Switch movement. 361 00:20:41,290 --> 00:20:42,470 This should impress the guys. 362 00:20:43,570 --> 00:20:46,050 Mind if I, uh... Go ahead and pawn it. 363 00:20:46,430 --> 00:20:49,010 She'll get you a few weeks downtown and some food. 364 00:20:49,950 --> 00:20:52,790 Hey, and some clothes for job interviews. 365 00:21:01,230 --> 00:21:02,230 Thank you. 366 00:21:03,290 --> 00:21:06,810 Take care of yourself. 367 00:21:10,890 --> 00:21:11,890 Happy birthday. 368 00:21:17,930 --> 00:21:20,610 Happy birthday to you. 369 00:21:20,990 --> 00:21:23,690 Happy birthday to you. 370 00:21:24,150 --> 00:21:27,230 Happy birthday, dear Luke. 371 00:21:28,510 --> 00:21:32,230 Happy birthday to you. 372 00:21:33,950 --> 00:21:35,490 Did Barney leave already? 373 00:21:35,790 --> 00:21:36,850 Yeah, he just left. 374 00:21:37,170 --> 00:21:39,390 Well, come on, birthday boy. Blow out your candles. 375 00:21:47,590 --> 00:21:49,050 Oh, no, thanks. I'm not really hungry. 376 00:21:49,330 --> 00:21:50,330 Something wrong? 377 00:21:50,650 --> 00:21:52,650 No. Oh, I know what it is. 378 00:21:53,310 --> 00:21:56,770 I get depressed after parties. The balloon starts to deflate. 379 00:21:57,050 --> 00:21:58,050 Guests all leave. 380 00:21:59,310 --> 00:22:00,970 Water picks all get put away. 381 00:22:03,450 --> 00:22:05,210 Excuse me. I have something in my eye. 382 00:22:06,930 --> 00:22:10,610 Oh, come on. It's not over yet. Luke, you haven't even finished opening your 383 00:22:10,610 --> 00:22:12,370 present. Yes, I have. 384 00:22:13,050 --> 00:22:14,050 Not this one. 385 00:22:19,150 --> 00:22:20,150 Well, what is it? 386 00:22:20,350 --> 00:22:21,390 That's a savings bond. 387 00:22:22,210 --> 00:22:23,210 For college. 388 00:22:24,910 --> 00:22:27,890 You guys don't have to do this for me. Well, we didn't do it because we have 389 00:22:27,970 --> 00:22:30,690 Luke. We did it because you're part of this family. 390 00:22:32,050 --> 00:22:33,050 Happy birthday. 391 00:22:33,730 --> 00:22:35,930 Happy birthday, Luke. Happy birthday, Luke.